Thursday, May 27, 2010

I Hate Holidays

So, I haven't written here for a very long time, but I just had a wave of feelings that I need to get out and share somehow.

I have come to the distinction that I hate holidays. Especially the last one and this next one coming up. Mother's Day was a bear and I tried to focus on the fact that it was my sister-in-law's birthday, but it was still a crappy day for me. We took flowers to the cemetery, but nothing seemed to make it right. For Memorial Day, we are trying to plan things to make it special, but I just had an overwelming feeling today that it is going to be a very rough weekend for me. I'm am glad that I have a day off work, but I'm not sure it is enough of a consolation prize for the heartache and emotional roller-coaster.

Now, I just might be overtired today, and whiney, so I'm sorry for anyone that actually chooses to read my blog. This was just helping me to stop the waterworks and put my feelings out there, kind of. It has been a rough year and at random times, the pain comes back and just hits me out of nowhere.

I miss my Mom so much. Life pretty much sucks whenever I remember that she isn't here anymore. There just aren't enough things to keep my mind and time occupied to forget that fact.

Thanks you anyone who reads this for letting me take a moment to vent and ramble a bit.