Thursday, May 27, 2010

I Hate Holidays

So, I haven't written here for a very long time, but I just had a wave of feelings that I need to get out and share somehow.

I have come to the distinction that I hate holidays. Especially the last one and this next one coming up. Mother's Day was a bear and I tried to focus on the fact that it was my sister-in-law's birthday, but it was still a crappy day for me. We took flowers to the cemetery, but nothing seemed to make it right. For Memorial Day, we are trying to plan things to make it special, but I just had an overwelming feeling today that it is going to be a very rough weekend for me. I'm am glad that I have a day off work, but I'm not sure it is enough of a consolation prize for the heartache and emotional roller-coaster.

Now, I just might be overtired today, and whiney, so I'm sorry for anyone that actually chooses to read my blog. This was just helping me to stop the waterworks and put my feelings out there, kind of. It has been a rough year and at random times, the pain comes back and just hits me out of nowhere.

I miss my Mom so much. Life pretty much sucks whenever I remember that she isn't here anymore. There just aren't enough things to keep my mind and time occupied to forget that fact.

Thanks you anyone who reads this for letting me take a moment to vent and ramble a bit.


Kim said...

Ramble away. I find writing very therapeutic - that's why I started my blog to begin with.

I miss your mom too. A lot. It sometimes doesn't seem real.

You guys are still constantly in my/our thoughts and prayers. I wish I could be closer, but know that we love you. And you can ramble to me anytime.


jenfra said...

Hey Lisa-

Been constantly checkiing your blog to see it updated. Happy to see your blog. I have been thinking about you a lot lately. Reading this made me cry. I am constantly so sorry. I wish I could say something that would mean something but there is always nothing. Just know that you are constantly in our hearts and prayers. It might be fun to get together and go to lunch sometime soon. Please know that if you need to talk or anything...I'm here.

Love ya cuz